Roscoe Everett!

My little champ is already a week old! I can't believe that's possible. Roscoe is right now the joy of our life. He's absolute magic. I had no idea what to expect welcoming another member to this family, and I have to say, it's just right. He is meant for us, so perfect. He is our family.

His birth was intense. I'll be working on his birth story for a while, I'm sure. Things of note? I had my membranes swept at 10:30 in the morning on March 8th, and he was in my arms by 9:15 that night. It was back labor again. It was absolutely intense. My voice is still hoarse. I terrified most of the other people on the birthing floor. But? It was all natural, not even a tylenol. I died with love right away.

Hendrix loves his little brother. He does. Watching them meet was absolutely amazing.

It hasn't been easy. I can't tell you how much I wish I had 4 arms. Hendrix has been my EVERYTHING for the past 2 and a half years. There isn't a whimper that hasn't been answered immediately by me. And now, there's another whimperer in my house. As a matter of fact, he's kind of a screamer. He can't help it, really. That has been so hard to watch Hendrix deal with. As a matter of fact, I feel like I'm going through it with him. There has been a lot more melt-downs. He's become more aggressive. He's been fighting sleep like a ninja. It's everything you read about, you try to prepare yourself for, but there's nothing like experiencing it. Obviously, it has been breaking my heart. Last night, Eric walked Roscoe to sleep while I rocked Hendo, whispering a million love notes into his ears. He just kept kissing me and saying, "Yove you so much, mommy." I cried and cried after he fell asleep.

Think they look alike?

Obviously this is such a short season in our family. I'll blink and these boys will be fighting over the video game controller. But I so want to do right by the both of them. I want to love them both fully, to give them everything they need to feel whole and safe. For now, I have to remind myself that I'm doing all I can, and trust that all the love I've given and am giving Henry will help him to deal with this transition, and come out of it an even more confident and secure little 2 year old.

GAH. So, there's all that. I love my boys so much. There aren't words. We are so blessed.

Roscoe Everett

March 8th, 2012

7 pounds, 7 ounces

19 1/2 inches

perfect.

What to do with Leftover Spaghetti!

I don't know about you, but EVERY. TIME . I make pasta, I make too much. Now, I don't mind eating leftovers, but you don't always want to eat the same thing you just ate.

Enter: SPAGHETTI PIE!!!!

INGREDIENTS

• 6 oz. spaghetti, cooked
• 2 Tbsp. olive oil
• 2 eggs, well beaten
• 3/4 cup (3 oz.) Sargento® Artisan Blends® Shredded Parmesan Cheese, divided

• 1 cup Sargento® Whole Milk Ricotta Cheese
• 1 cup pasta sauce
• 1/2 cup (2 oz.) Sargento®ChefStyle Shredded Mozzarella Cheese

DIRECTIONS

• 1

  Toss spaghetti with olive oil in large bowl. Stir in eggs and 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese. Pour spaghetti mixture into greased 10-inch pie plate; form into a crust.

• 2

  Spoon Ricotta cheese over spaghetti crust. Top with pasta sauce. Bake in preheated 350°F oven 25 minutes. Top with Mozzarella cheese. Bake 5 minutes more or until cheese is melted. Sprinkle with remaining Parmesan cheese. Cool 10 minutes before cutting.

I found quite a few recipes, some that called for ricotta cheese and some that called for cottage cheese. I only had a 1/2 cup of ricotta, but I had a ton of cottage. So, I spread the ricotta on half of the crust and cottage on the other. It turned out PERFECTLY. It was all the cheesy goodness this pregnant lady needed. And hey, I used up my leftovers!

Looking back on 2011... and that resolution of mine :)

I don't know if you remember MY 2011 RESOLUTION ? Yeah, it was a big one. Looking back, I think if I had made the rules even more strict, I would feel a lot worse than I do. Honestly, I'd say I stuck to it by about 80%. So, if my goal had been to loose 20 pounds, I would have lost 16 pounds!!! Thinking about it like that, I feel really proud of myself. I have gotten rid of WAY more than I brought into the house. And most of what I did bring into the house adhered to my guidelines, or was calculated. I honestly can't think of a purchase that I regret AT ALL.

Now, one thing I have to say I'm ashamed I could not say goodbye to, and I feel a little guilty about? BABY GAP. Isn't that ridiculous? The truth of the matter is, their sales prices were usually CHEAPER than a lot of the Goodwills around here. Plus, their clothes are so nice and so cute. So, I still bought my lil' dude some new duds. He got a lot more things 2nd hand, but, I couldn't kill that love. And you know what? In the spirit of not being tough on myself, it's okay. :)

I'm proud of myself. I've grown up a lot this year. I'm moving in the right direction for my family.

This year, I don't have a new big resolution. I'm having a baby in 2 months. I'm going to have to adapt and change to accommodate a brand new life. My resolution is to be open, flexible and present. That will be big enough. :)

our mornings.

I love my mornings with my boy. After cuddling for a little while, we usually shake off sleep, put on the nearest clothing and step outside. It's still warm here in the afternoons, but the mornings here are chilly and quiet. Two days ago, we woke to fog filled air. Henry kept exclaiming, "WOW!" as we walked around. He danced in the fog, rolled in the dirt and told me about the noises he heard in the woods.

More and more my little baby is becoming the most fascinating kid. He is enthralled with nature, captured by it. I couldn't wish anything more perfect. We are so lucky to live here, to have so much space to explore and see.

Fall is different here. The leaves aren't all changing and we don't need our scarves just yet, but it has the same effect: magic.

my baby in the rain.

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. -- Langston Hughes

Our much needed rain came at around dinner time. I saw the drops start and opened the back door. Henry ran to see the rain. Instantly, he started taking his clothes off, and then, he started to DANCE. My little boy, DANCING IN THE RAIN. Henry has always been such a bright, joyful spirit. I can't help but look back at another picture of him in the rain from last year:

It goes so fast. My beautiful baby is becoming more and more a kid every day. I'm so proud of the little person he's becoming. I pray I can foster his bright spirit, protect it. I pray I always let him play in the rain.

on slowing down.

Right now, Hendo is down for his afternoon nap. I've just finished taking a blanket in from off the line and putting a casserole in the fridge for dinner tonight. My house is relatively clean and after writing this and picking up a few toys, I'm cracking open a Diet Coke and reading the book I've been renewing for the last two months, "The Guide to Simple Living" (which I've written about before).

My days have been more like this and less like the crazy pace I was used to. I'm slowing down, deliberately. I finished the documentary "No Impact Man" the other day. There is a scene in the middle of the movie, where Colin Beavan talks about how doing away with air conditioning forced his family outside. How, being without a TV forced them off of the couch. Suddenly, they had to be creative with their free time. In this scene, his daughter dunks her head in a park fountain, the joy in her face is undeniable. We're a couch culture, a comfort culture. And, there is definitely a place for vegging out every now and again, but, I would argue, it's not as good for our souls.

I realized how down I was, and so, I've been getting out more. I've been closing this computer screen and sitting on the floor with Henry more. Yesterday, Eric and I started tilling up ground for our fall garden. I've been staying up late by myself so I have time I need to breathe and rest. I've been saying "no" to engagements, not because I don't adore the people in my life, but because otherwise, I'd have a full schedule, and I don't want one. I've been praying a LOT more and forcing myself to challenge those parts of myself I don't like very much.

I've been slowing down, and for me? It's better this way.

Hey, Hey, Vacay!

I've been joyfully MIA the last few weeks. We just got back from a long and lovely time in Illinois. Eric, Hendo and I took a 28 hour train ride. Henry was a peach, and if it weren't for the woman who sat behind us calling every friend and family member squawking, "I'M ON A TRAIN!" What's that? I can't hear you, because I'M ON A TRAIN!" till 1 in the morning, I honestly think it would have been one of our favorite trips of all time.

us in the dining car

We arrived in Illinois greeted by my grandma, who worships Henry, and my Dad, who cried at the sight of us. We spent the first week with my grandparents, my Aunt Gloria and my entire family (including my long missed sister, who has been serving the past year in the Peace Corps of Moldova). We swam, ate great food, went to the museum, worshipped in church and mostly just hugged each other a whole lot. We finished up the week at the Markel farm, where one of my dearest friends, Lindsey Markel, married her best friend, Larry Gates. I was honored to stand up as a best lady and even got to officiate the ceremony. It was the most perfect day and weekend. We celebrated with a farm full of my favorite people till Henry started screaming for sleep. He past out before our car left the driveway. Eric and I held hands the entire way home, so thankful for our love. Good weddings will do that to ya.

photo taken by the beautiful james-y calder.

Eric flew home the next morning (work= BOOOO), and Henry and I went back home to set up for my little brother's graduation party. My Grandparents left earlier in the week and the next day, my Grandma Jane and Aunt Lori (who I share a birthday with) arrived. We spent most of Trey's party outside catching up with them. I am so honored to have so many strong and beautiful women in my life. I spent a lot of time just stepping back and being truly thankful for that.

grandma jane, hendrix blowing kisses and aunt lori

my grandpa, henry and grandma

Monday morning, after they left, Hendrix, Cora and I headed off to the park, where 15 of my former students showed up for a little reunion. Seeing some of them brought me to tears. I can't tell you how blessed I am to actually have LOVED my students so deeply. I am even more blessed that the love is reciprocated.

me and my kiddos.

The rest of the week was filled with visits and adventures. Notably, I got to hang out with my good friend, Laura and her amazing boys. I also was reunited with the beautiful and talented, Rebecca Smith, who you may know from Better Life Bags. I haven't seen her since I was 20! She's mama to two of the sweetest babes ON EARTH.

hartrich fam and smith fam

All in all, the trip was about Henry getting to really know his Northern relatives. Each morning, Henry woke up calling for one person or another, and they would all shake off the sleep from their face and scream with joy at his presence. I can't tell you how amazing it is to see the love I have for my son duplicated in my family. There aren't words for how much I'll miss that.

uncle trey and hendo

the whole fam.

On the flight(s) back, Henry was a perfect angel. We got off the plane, travelled down an escalator and ran straight into Dad and Ya-ya's arms. We are SO BLESSED.

marriage.

Yeah, that's my husband. He's hot. There's no two ways about it. He is a STONE FOX.

I saw Eric my first day of college (note: SAW, not MET). He was in an English class with me (one that he dropped the same day). And when he walked through the room, EVERY INCH OF ME melted. Seriously, it was just like in the movies. Time stopped. I can remember exactly where I was sitting, what he was wearing, the light in the room... Here is a picture of Eric at around 18. You'll see what I mean:

RIGHT? YUMMY. That day, Eric captured my heart. He did. I'm not even trying to be crazy about this, it's the truth. Up until we started dating, I only had eyes for Eric. All of my friends knew him as "My Mystery Man." I pranked called his dorm room, stared at him throughout every shared dinner in the cafeteria and asked every friend of his for Eric's info.

I bought my first Radiohead album, because I'd heard they were his favorite. I heard he liked "nice girls;" so, I tried to be nicer. Mostly, I was just in love with him.

I've been in love with Eric from the minute I laid eyes on him. Our story is a long one. A good one, but a long one. The short of it is, I'm a lucky woman.

Eric and I are very different people. I'm loud; he's quiet. I'm an optimist; he's a pessimist. I'm a buyer; he's a saver. I'm a doer; he's a thinker. On paper, we're complete opposites, but we work. We compliment each other.

We also fight like HELL. :) Something we both have in common is a stubborn streak a mile long. We both usually think we're right. It makes for some killer "conversations". Before we had Henry, our fights would sometimes result in me getting in the car and leaving, slamming the door behind me...

Henry has added a new dimension of stress to our relationship. However, he's also brought us closer together. We always worked at our marriage, trying to be fairer fighters, better partners. But Henry has made every fight, every disagreement, every unkind word seem paramount. We work as a team, constantly evaluating our relationship and working to be the best parents and examples to Henry.

It's hard work, but we both are passionate about setting a positive model of a loving relationship for Henry. That's why, when we first moved down here to Texas, we saw a THERAPIST. I feel like it's so taboo to admit that. I wish that wasn't true. The truth is, we just found ourselves in need of direction. We love each other so much; we love Henry so much, and it became clear that we had started unhealthy patterns that needed to be fixed.

Our time "on the couch" was so beneficial. We only went to 3 sessions, but in the interim time, we applied everything she suggested we look at. We read books, filled out surveys, but mostly we TALKED. TALKED. TALKED. We apologized for past wrongs, made promises for our future, and we grew. Eric and I are now more conscious of our attitudes, words and each others feelings. We are more aware.

I've come a long way since my time as a stalker. But the truth is, that boy who made my heart melt when I first laid eyes on him still gives me butterflies. Though our relationship started just like the movies, we are real people, with real issues, who work every day to be good to one another, and to our perfect baby boy. Thank God Eric is so good looking. He makes even the tough days seem easy.

What about you? What is your love story? How do you "keep the love alive?" Any tricks of the trade?

on homemaking.

Today, I was on the phone changing our car insurance (we saved 100 a month by switching to Geico!). The representative asked me what I "do," and as I scrambled to find the right words, he interjected with, "You're a homemaker." Part of me resented that label. I mean, if I'm just now becoming a homemaker, what was I when I was still working a full time job? I was making a home for my family then, too. I replied with, "Is that the politically correct term nowadays?" He laughed and said, "I guess so, MA'AM" Don't even get me started.

A homemaker. A stay at home mom. A housewife.

I've struggled in the past year with my new "labels." I have a hard time with them. Don't get me wrong, I know I am lucky to be able to stay home with Henry. I know that for our little family, me staying home is the healthiest arrangement for all of us. But, BUT. I find myself going back and forth... One day, I'm trying to aspire to be the Martha Stewart of all mothers and other days I find myself wanting to run back into the classroom. Bottom line? Being a stay at home mom is TOUGH.

I'm bored a lot of days. I doubt my parenting decisions. I wonder if I'm actually "parenting." I feel lonely and tired. I feel like my friends think I have it easy. I feel like I don't have any friends. I eat my way through some mornings. I ignore Henry. I cry. I get insanely impatient. I worry I'm not feeding Henry the right food or giving him the right toys to play with. I feel like NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME. I worry. I doubt. I worry. I doubt.

& then (and I know I always end these self-reflective blog entries this way), THEN THERE'S THIS GUY...

.. who is growing every day into this real kid. There's this perfect human being who gives my life such bright light and energy. There's this part of me that is becoming more and more the person he is meant to be. And I have the front row seat AND the VIP pass and, you know what? I'm his STAY AT HOME MOM. His HOMEMAKER. And when I think about those labels in the context of my lil' buddy? They fit just fine.

sweat equity

At the back of our home, there is the most beautiful view:However, after the builders finished with the house, they left piles of dirt at the back of the house (they had to build up around some of the pipes. That was all fine and well, but it left us with quite the eyesore, and more importantly, we weren't using our backyard!

We decided we'd love to have a patio out back. So, we got to work. First, we evened out the dirt piles.

Next, we rounded up bricks (the previous owners left a huge stash of them behind the shed) and made sure to dig them into the dirt, keeping them straight and level.

Then, Eric moved 12 wheelbarrow loads of rock (the previous owners left this as well).

After dumping the rock evenly through the outlined patio...

After evening it all out, we now have a beautiful space to relax with a glass of wine at the end of a long day. Soon, those pretty trees will be layered in twinkly lights.

The best part? IT WAS FREE.

Photo Wall

Dealing with the walls in the main room of the house has been a challenge for me. I was determined to put something on the wall over our television before the holidays.

Here's the before:

I knew that first and foremost, I needed to assess what I had. I hung the first picture you see above. I knew that I wanted the frames to be arranged purposefully. First, I dumped out all the frames that I owned.

Next, I arranged them by size and color. I was going to hang different colors and some art pieces I had, but I was worried it would look too busy and decided on going with all white. I used 3M "velcro" picture hanging tabs. They aren't cheap, but they work, and I didn't have to deal with nails --priceless! Here's the result:

To be honest, I don't think the wall is completely done. I would like to add either more frames or replace some of them with bigger ones. But, this was done for the holidays, and I thought it turned out great!

a productive day WITOUT FACEBOOK.

The past few days, I haven't logged onto facebook AT ALL. Let me make something clear, I seriously spend a TON of time on Facebook. It's embarrasing.

BUT I AM TAKING CONTROL OF MY FREE TIME. Today, I drove to Temple to pick up my friend's dog. We're watching her Little Izzy for the next few weeks. I will be spending a lot of time stopping Henry from RIPPING THE HAIR OFF OF HER HEAD.

When I got home, I set up our folding table and folded 6 LOADS OF LAUNDRY.

Then, I rocked my little man to sleep. He slept for 2.5 hours, and believe me, I WAS THANKFUL.
So, I rewarded myself with some much needed Mama Time. I read a few chapters of "Women and Money," drank a Diet Cherry Coke, and ate some chocolate cookies.

After Mama Time, I tackled something that has been on my to-do list for a LONG WHILE -- the linen closet:

SHAMEFUL. I unloaded everything onto the folding table and sorted it:

And voila:

& finally at the end of the night, we spent some quality time with Dad!

Then after playing with Daddy, I put little man down, and I am now sitting with my main man watching Friday Night Lights and BLOGGING.

All in all, good day. And you know what? I didn't miss Facebook at all. Okay, maybe a little.