time alone.

I'm sitting in this rv. eric took henry swimming at his brother's house, and I can't tell you how stoked I am to just be typing a blog post without a drool filled hand dragging across my face (LOVE YOU, HENRY!).

Really, I should be sitting in our house, but, the builders are a month behind. We should be there in 2 weeks. I guess it's nice, because I'll come back from my trip home (I leave in ONE WEEK), and I'll be moving in when I return. hopefully when I come back I'll have more of a clear head about all of this.

Things have been ROUGH. I've def. been hesitating to write about it on the internet, because I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but I figure I won't broadcast this blog post shamelessly on facebook.

I find myself in a bit of a depression, or slump if that word scares you. When moving down here, I had the highest of hopes. I knew I would be spending my days with the most wonderful thing I've ever done. I really thought that being with Henry would pull me through the tough parts of this transition, and don't get me wrong, I LOVE being at home. However, an RV doesn't provide much room in which to live, and so, we pretty much just sleep in it. The rest of my day is spent in my in-law's house. They have been so generous. All of our clothes are in their second bedroom, we use their t.v., eat dinner with them, use their washer and dryer-- we would be totally lost without them. But, cohabitation with your in-laws? I would not exactly recommend it. Without being too emo here? I FEEL LIKE MY SOUL IS BEING RIPPED FROM MY BODY.

I think a lot of my frustration stems from my upbringing. I NEVER heard my parents yell at one another-- ever. Eric and I, though we've had our moments, are always extremely conscious of raising our voices around Henry. Personally, and I fear looking up research to prove me right, I think stress & anxiety are bad for babies. However, we have COPIOUS amounts of both on a daily basis, and I'm just not used to it. I'm not. And the level to which it is now SHOVED IN MY FACE and in my son's face is too much. I am now at my end. I could go on and on, but I'll use discretion and stop there (email me for details--jk).

In the face of all this, I really do have to say, Eric has been awesome. it's not easy to lay down every night next to your wife who has been possessed by Snookie, "WAHHHHHHH!!!" I've been a bear and a half.

This week is our anniversary (4 years, baby!), and Eric has business in downtown Austin. So, we've booked a hotel for 3 days, and Henry and I are going to wade in the pool while he works. Then at night, we're going to explore this awesome town and get our heads on straight. After three days of perfection, I'll come back here, pack a suitcase and spend some much needed and anticipated time with my fam. Then, I'll return to the great state of Texas and move into a home not on wheels. What I'm getting at is things are looking up. I'm going to be okay. Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.