keepin' it real

I want to write about this picture, even though all I want to do is sleep, and I feel like crying-- I need to write about it. Today was one of those days. One of those "miss your child's nap window" days. One of those "lose your temper and feel like a terrible mother days." It's not easy, being a full time attachment parent. It's not. And now, with this little one coming (taking his precious time, but coming), I'm starting to feel all out of sorts and intimidated by the idea that soon and very soon, I will be juggling a newborn and a very high need toddler. That's scary, exciting, but scary.

Today, Henry fought his nap for 2 full hours. We tried everything: a drive, books, television, breathing, rocking, massage... nothing was working. All the while, here I am, 39 weeks pregnant, feeling nauseous, emotional and exhausted, trying to keep my cool. It was a terrible scenario, to be honest. But that's why I need to write about it, because you know what? He's asleep now. I put a little terror in the car and within 2 min, he became the little angel you see above. Then, I came home, and I put him in his bed, and he sighed the most perfect sigh and everything was right with the world again.

You know what? There will be more days like today, but then, I'm going to blink, and my little 2 year old is going to be in school. He wont be home with me all the time, and eventually, he'll be off on his own entirely. And you know what? I'd probably trade one of those future lonely (yet peaceful) afternoons for this crazy one.

So, I'm posting to remind myself that Henry will eventually go to sleep. I need to stop, breathe and cherish even these tough moments, because they are fleeting, Now, I need to take a nap. I can go all nesting crazy on those dishes later.