This is the only picture I have of me breast feeding Hendo. The lighting is awful, and I'm so sad I don't have any others. Henry was 2 weeks old. We were still figuring it all out, struggling to get him to latch properly. It took us a while, but we became pros. Henry has been weaned for a week now. He hasn't asked to nurse at all. It's as if he's forgotten he was glued to my body for the past two years. I fed Henry on demand for two years. It was my goal to breast feed till Hen was 18 months. We blew past that goal, and my new goal became to let Henry wean himself.
I got a lot of flack from people about it. Essentially, just people constantly asking when I was going to wean him. "I'm not." I would say. The closer we got to the two year mark, the more annoying it got. Then, I did start to doubt myself and my decisions. I mean, what if my son slept with us, breast fed and took a pacifier the rest of my life!? Was I making some kind of mistake?
As if he read my fears, Henry started breast feeding less and less. He would latch on for comfort, but wouldn't really drink anything. My body quickly responded, and I stopped producing. For the last week of breast feeding, he would latch on at night for about 30 seconds to each breast and tell me, "All Gone, Mama!"
The weaning process was seamless for us. Henry made the transition himself, and I couldn't have dreamed of a more perfect ending. The only thing I did was apply the "don't offer and don't refuse" principal. Hendrix is now sleeping comfortably through the night (the first time in 2 years-- I know!), and he now rolls over to cuddle up with his blanket to go to sleep (instead of my chest). We're going to be transitioning him to his own bed in the coming months (we've tried many times in the past, but it hasn't been the right time). I'm shocked at how quickly and effortlessly this all happened. Henry seems like he aged overnight. I'm so proud of my little buddy. He's really not a baby anymore.
Breast feeding Henry was magic. I will miss the close bond that the breast feeding relationship gave us. I will miss providing for him in such an intimate way. But, watching Henry become such an independent and wonderful human being is just as rewarding. I can't believe it, but it truly does keep getting better.
Kelly, this was a wonderful post! (And validated for me the approach I took with Julia! LOL) I was determined to let Julia wean herself, too. She nursed until she was 23 months, and she weaned herself during her transition from her crib to her toddler bed. It was definitely harder on me than her, and I cried every night I wondered if I had nursed her for the last time. I couldn't imagine any other way of doing it, but it's good to hear I am in good company. :-) It truly is the end of an era, though; if you think about it, it is the one consistent part of the mother/child relationship that hasn't changed since birth. The one constant. I'm definitely looking forward (as I'm sure you are too!) to have another little one to nurse in not too long. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this, Kelly! My original breastfeeding goal was 12 months, but then we started to have so. many. problems. My goal became 6 months.
ReplyDeleteNow, we're cruising along and I absolutely plan to let Ian self-wean. I just can't imagine artificially stopping something that's so comforting for both of us. I know that when we get to the day he stops, I will be a mess, but I'll be able to take comfort in knowing he stopped on his own terms.
Joy, I can't wait for another one to nurse. One of my best friends just gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl, and seeing her working on breast feeding for the first time (while I was weaning) was so emotional! It truly is the most wonderful relationship!
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I'm so sorry you had so many problems! I'm glad you've been able to extend your goal. Extended breast feeding is the BEST. :)