Coe Baby is 3

 

March 2014

April 2014

   May 2014

June 2014

 July 2014

 August 2014

September 2014 

October 2014

November 2014 

December 2014 

January 2015

February 2015

March 2015 

Coe Baby, 

You are three, my love. Three whole years old. Looking through your pictures, each day feels like yesterday. 

This year has been huge for you. You potty trained yourself, you stopped nursing, you gave up your binky, you became a big brother, and you sleep by yourself! You are such a strong, self sufficient kid, and I am so humbled by that because most of your "big milestone steps" you have taken on your own gumption! 

Coe, you are strong. You rarely get hurt to the point of tears. Most falls or stumbles that would have a kid running for comfort, have you trying again with a determined, pursed look on your perfect face. You do not back down to a challenge, that is for sure. You run fast, scale rock walls, go down the tallest slides, and swing with your eyes wide open. You are fearless and brave.

You are also the sweetest soul in perhaps the entire world.  In the mornings, you'll bring me a glass of water, my phone, my glasses and the biggest kiss. If someone gives you a piece of candy or a toy, your first question (before even taking it in your hand) is, "Hey-Hee, too?" You help me with the dishes, find Maggie a toy, give Wrigley kisses. You give of yourself so naturally, and it shocks me sometimes to the point of tears. 

Coe, your sense of order is righteous. The other day in the grocery store, you saw a package of bread on the floor of the aisle, and you made me push the cart over just so you could put it back. I'm trying to keep more order at home, and that has helped you with some terrible two tantrums. You like having things happen around the same times every day. You like things being in their place. The world is a pretty messy place. I'll keep helping you make sense of the mess in a healthy and balanced way. I think you'll be helping me find more order in my life, too. Amazing how that works.

You can command and fill a room, kid. Your smile is infectious. Your laugh is all of the good things in the world, and your hair has made strangers reach out and do the unthinkable-- THEY TOUCH IT. You're effortlessly beautiful.

I could not be more proud to be your mom. There is a lot to navigate in the year of two. Each day, you've been becoming more and more this amazing little man, who knows himself so assuredly that it scares me sometimes. You need less and less of me every day. This year is going to bring so much good for you. I cannot wait to know more of your questions, and thoughts and dreams and likes and dislikes. Coaster, you are my whole heart bursting and breaking into a million pieces. I am so lucky to be your mom. I am so lucky to wake up to your sweet voice in the mornings. I am so lucky to have your hugs and your love. I want a million years of you, my sweet, darling, perfect boy. 

xoxoxo, 

Your "Maaaaaahm"

TWO and ONE and BIRTH

I'm giving up Facebook for Lent, because I have to. Because when I prayed about it, I felt that part of myself rise up with a stubborn, "NOOOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!" And when you feel yourself hold that strongly onto something, it's time for you to be stronger than that.

Today is Ash Wednesday, and I have gone to my computer screen 10 times already just to wake it up. Usually, I wake it up because I am checking my Facebook. For what? I have no idea. So, each time I've done that this morning, I've given it to God. I have said a prayer for someone I know is hurting. I've turned myself around and picked up one of my kids and covered them in a million kisses and let myself well up with grateful recognition of my many blessings.

To some people, this may seem trite and pointless. To me, it is something that is good and right and needed. xo

Psalm 34:14 Turn your back on sin; do something good. Embrace peace - don't let it get away!

I had an old friend message me tonight and compliment my writing tonight. It took me by surprise, and made me feel all the feelings, because I've been pushing myself to find more time to read things other than BuzzFeed and write things other than photo captions this year.

So, my brain was trying to write an official blog post, but nah. Here's a list of random stuff instead!

-I'm reading Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" . Loving it.
-I put away almost all of the Christmas decorations, and somehow my house feels 100% more clean.
- I got fitted for a new nursing bra today, and I am a 32 K? WHAT ON EARTH. It's a real size, too. I'm not making this up.
- I ate a double burger from P. Terry's today, and it was all of the good things happening. Also, a chocolate shake. Don't judge me.
- You might like this as much as I did.
-If you didn't like that, you'll love this.
-Feeling bad about yourself? Roscoe watched AT LEAST 4 hours of other people playing with "Thomas the Tank Engine" videos today. I know. I'm the worst mom. He ate lunch today, though. So, I mean, it's about balance, y'all.




xoxo

Tonight, I held each of my kids as they fell asleep. It's one of the things in my life I most savor and detest. I'm super bi-polar about it. I know one day they will go to sleep on their own, but they don't yet. None of them do. It gets especially tough on days like today, when I could actually hear the glass of wine downstairs calling my name.

My New Years resolution(s) is to stop yelling and to take more time for myself. Tonight, I had my cell phone in hand, the screen dimly lit, and I was scrolling through feminist blog postings, because Lindsey Gates-Markel sent me some links that I was EATING UP. And there's all this sleep research that's like, TURN THE SCREEN OFF, but also, TREAT YO' SELF, y'know? So, I read and kissed their little heads in between loving my reading life, and maybe it took them longer to fall asleep, but I wasn't stressing myself out either. So, there you go. Also, this Pinot Noir is tasting too good.

Kickin' those baby blues.

I don't know if it's the twinkly lights, or all the cold induced cuddling I've been doing, but I have been feeling inspired lately. I've been getting things done (not a lot of things, but, you know, THINGS). I've been having great conversations with my friends, keeping it cool with my kids and while my hair is a mess, I've been getting dressed most days.

Being a mama to three babies is exhausting and wonderful; mostly exhausting. But slowly, I can feel myself getting my groove back.

It's been a pretty conscious fight though. Those baby blues are tough, kids. They eat at you and they make all of you want you to sit on the couch and cry tears and eat all the Halloween chocolate. And you do. Then, you feel all bad at yourself and then you're plagued with all the mama guilt, too. So, I've been fighting a little bit harder. I've been turning off the TV getting myself UP and OFF the couch. I've been getting on the floor with my kids and having dance parties (Taylor Swift is my spirit animal, and I AM NOT ASHAMED). I've been reading things that encourage me instead of make me sad. I've been nicer to my husband, more forgiving to my kids and less hard on myself. Also, coffee.

Things are looking up. They have to, because I am.

Hendrix is FIVE.

Dearest Hendo,

You wake up in the middle of the night with the worst growing pains. Your dad and I rush to give you doses of tylenol, cuddling you till you fall asleep. The next morning, I always marvel at how much taller you are, then tell you to please stop. You're always very matter of fact, "BUT MOM! I have to grow, because I'm growing to be just as big as Daddy! Don't worry, I'll still love you and cuddle you!" I've asked for that in writing, but you're still working on that for me. ;) 

october 2013

november 2013

december 2013

Dodes, you are the smartest kid I know. You have an insatiable love for all things dino, SCIENCE and super hero. You'll educate just about anyone. The other day a girl tried to tell you she didn't believe in dinosaurs, and you fell short of making her take out a pen to take notes. You correct your dad and me all the time, and rightfully so! How else would we be able to identify an allosaurus versus a plesiosaur? 

january 2014

february 2014

march 2014

As it has been since you were small, your favorite use of your time is creative play. There is nothing more fun than creeping outside of the room you're in and listening to the world you're creating and playing in. A lot of times, costumes are needed, or I have to search the entire house to turn up whatever toy you're missing for what you've got in your brain. Usually, you surprise me by remembering exactly where you left something. Except for LEGOs. Dude. Those are everywhere. 

april 2014

may 2014

 

june 2014

You got a little sister this year, and after seeing how helpful and sweet you are with her, I think every person should space out their babies by 5 years. You adore "Mags." You and Coe aren't playing side by side yet. You're mostly just beating each other and making your mama go crazy, but you love your brother too much. As long as he's not taking something you've got in your arms, you'd do just about anything to make him laugh.  

july 2014

 august 2014

september 2014

Hendrix, you tell the best stories. You have the funniest jokes. You have the most handsome face. You're the little human who first made me a mom, and I can't believe you are a FIVE YEAR OLD. Please stop growing. You get to take tylenol for your growing pains, but my heartbreak is only tempered by how absolutely wonderful you're becoming. Love you, buddy. 

For past birthday letters: 4 Years Old,  3 Years Old, 2 Years Old, 1 Year Old. :) 

Family Update!

Tonight, Henry was running in and out of the kiddie pool in the backyard screaming, "I'M SO HAPPY! HAPPINESS!" over and over again. Our hearts are full around here. We're also more stressed out than ever, but mostly, it's the full hearts that win.

Magnolia is a whole new human, and she's made our family complete-ly wonderful. She's a lot of smiles and sweet coos when she's not screaming (she's a pretty colicky perfect human). She's a great sleeper, which is a new ball game for us (THANK YOU, MAGGIE!) The boys are obsessed with her, and at least once a day I have to save her from being smothered by one of them.

Coe baby is forever living with the life force energy of one million hyper humans. He feels all of the feelings, and he feels them with EVERY FIBER OF HIS BEING. He's into everything, doing everything, seeing everything and trying his darndest to say everything.  He's pure magic and joy. He loves "Spideners", "Hey-Hee", "Maaaaaaaaags" and "Mat-Man". We're pretty obsessed with his red curls, too.

Dodes started his last year of Pre-School this past week. He is loving being back. Kid is wicked smaht and wicked awesome. He's been falling asleep by himself at night, and has even made it through the entire night by himself a few times. He's still the worlds best cuddler, and will love you forever if you put a toy review up on the computer. He'll talk your ear off about dinosaurs, Marvel or DC characters, Big foot and his toy collection (present and hopeful future). 

These three humans are our world. We're sucking the marrow out of the precious fleeting moments, and forgiving ourselves for the times we're vegging out during them, too :).

Coe Baby Napping

These will always be some of my favorite pictures of Roscoe. He fell asleep on our way to the park, and I just happened to have these pillows in the back. I got to watch Hendrix play while he slept away. Nothing sweeter than a baby asleep.

Submit your favorite sleep pictures to the Bower Power Sleep Photo Challenge!

Roscoe Everett's Birth

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson with Hendrix that a baby picks their due date, but unfortunately, not quite. I fully expected Roscoe to come even earlier than his brother. I had all kinds of anecdotal facts! My mother! That girl at the library! MY HEART! I just knew he'd come early. His due date was March 9th, and I have emails from February emailing my friends excitedly about my "contractions" and all the "signs" I had that he was on his way. Yes, I'm a ridiculous person. 

So, the weeks before his due date felt impossible. So much so that when I found out that my little brother was in between jobs, I begged him to come to stay with us till Roscoe made his appearance. He arrived as the best brother of the century on February 26th. On the way back to our house from the train station, I was giving him directions to the hospital and plans in case my labor started that night. He and Eric stopped at Gamestop to buy the newest version of their favorite racing video game. Obviously, they didn't understand how eminent Roscoe's arrival was. MEN. 

I wont say this often, but it turns out the men in my life were right. Roscoe did not come that night. Or the next. Or the next. Luckily, Trey was a life saving distraction. During the day, he helped me take care of Hendrix and at night, he helped me take care of Eric. We ate spicy foods, walked all over IKEA and the mall and he helped me time contractions for hours. Roscoe was true to himself in the womb and was chillin' like a villain.

So, on the day before my due date, when my OB told me he could sweep my membranes to try and get labor started, I thought, WHY NOT?! But, here's the problem with the whole sweeping membranes thing. Sweeping sounds like a light cleaning. It's not. They should call it RIPPING your membranes. What my OB did in that room was nothing short of kill me. I still don't know how I survived. But, an hour later at 11:30, while stuffing my face with a Whopper and large fries in the Burger King playscape, I felt my very first intense uterine contraction. Roscoe had received the message. 

We left Burger King, and I felt 4 contractions on the drive back to the house. When we got home, I called Eric to let him know my contractions had started. I kept moving around the house, picking up, packing bags, bouncing on the exercise ball I'd purchased. Trey and Carol watched Hendrix while I felt my contractions intensifying. However, they were never regular. I'd have one after 2 minutes and another in 6. So, I really couldn't tell if things were going to pick up or not. Then, at 3 pm, I had contractions every 4 minutes for an hour. Eric got home at 4. He thought we should stay home. I thought we needed to get to the hospital. I remember saying, "Eric, this could progress really quickly! What if my water breaks? We don't want to be home and have to deliver him! We left at 4:30 and got to the hospital around 5. I remember leaving in a hurry and feeling like I didn't get a chance to give Henry the big goodbye I wanted, but he was off playing super heroes with uncle Trey. 

By the time we reached the birthing floor, my greatest fear returned. I was walking the hall while Eric filled out the paperwork, and I realized I was no longer feeling my contractions in my uterus. Slowly, my contractions were creeping from the center of my tailbone, up my spinal cord and down my legs. The pain of back labor is kind of like a back spams, but, you also have an infant trying to escape your body. So, it sucks. However, I went through 24 hours of back labor with Henry, so, I laughed when I told Eric we were going through it again. He rubbed my back while we waited to be admitted. 

Once we got into the birth room, I was super excited because there was a bathtub! The nurse informed us that she had 1. never attended a natural birth and 2. had never seen a person actually get into the bathtub. So, I let her know we were going to be rockin' her world and making BOTH happen! She checked me at a 5, put in a iv line, strapped me up to fetal monitoring and called my doctor. Doctor Mahaffey is known around Austin as "the vet." Birth is and should be as natural as possible to him. That's why we picked him as our OB. That and that he's a Texas rancher in his free time and is never without his handlebar mustache or his cowboy boots. He let us know that since he was on call that weekend anyway, he had swept the membranes of 5 different women that morning. He was going to be a busy man, because three of us were already at the hospital! What a guy. He also gave the go ahead for intermittent monitoring, a bath, and a mobile labor. Score. 

I labored standing up, talking with Eric and the nurse for a long while. My contractions were all still in my back, even after trying a lot of different positioning techniques. At around 6:30, Yaya showed up! I can still remember her face when she walked through the door. She was so excited. Eric and I were both pretty stoked, too. We talked between contractions. Carol rubbed my back. She was such a helpful distraction for me. After seeing me in labor for about an hour, I remember her asking the nurse to give her a run down of my pain medication options. She hated seeing me in pain! And actually, with the pain getting worse, we decided it was time to get in the tub for a little while to help me relax, and hopefully, to relieve some of the pain.

Eric and I turned the lights off and just sat with each other while each contraction came like mad. I remember laughing, because Carol and the nurse were talking about ghosts. Both of us were like, HOW DID THEY GET ON THAT TOPIC?" Eric held my hand and we tried to breathe through contractions, but I did a lot of screaming. The nurse came in after 30 minutes to check Coe's heartbeat. After an hour, she had me get out so she could check me and do 10 minutes of fetal monitoring. 

When I stepped out of the bath, it was around 8:15. I remember trying to put a hair tie in and literally not being able to because the pain just wrecked my body over. My legs were shaking, and I felt like I was going to split in half. The nurse asked me to lay back down to get on the fetal monitoring, but all I wanted to do was walk. So, she strapped it to my belly while I rocked in place. I began to tell the nurse that I might need something for the pain. She talked us through all my options, and I was seriously considering some IV drugs. I remember feeling crazy and crying a little to Carol, because I was worried I hadn't dilated anymore. She looked at the clock and said, "Kelly, he's going to be here so soon! I bet he's here by 9:15!" I didn't believe her, but she was SPOT ON. The nurse checked to see how far I was dilated. I was an 8. NO DRUGS FOR ME! 

After being checked at an 8, everything got insane. I was going through transition, and it was INTENSE. I paced back and forth in the room, SCREAMING. The contractions started coming almost every minute. The nurse walked in laughing at one point and was like, "You're scaring the other mamas!" All the nurses are just telling them, enjoy that epidural. That girl who's screaming? She's going natural." HOW EMBARRASSING.

I was feeling an insane amount of pressure. So, the nurse moved the bed into a kneeling position. GAH, I remember everything just feeling so crazy and I felt so scared all of a sudden. I started crying, "I NEED TO TALK TO MY MOM. CALL MY MOM!!!" So, Carol picked up the phone and called (I remember her shaking while she was dialing, because she was so scared-- I will never forget that hilarious look on her face). Soon, my mom and dad were on speaker encouraging me when I felt the most INSANE contraction coming. I screamed as the contraction ripped through me and my water broke! I had seriously been on the phone with them for 30 seconds! My poor dad. He said he can never hear me in labor again. It upset him so badly. I remember my mom whooping up a storm and saying something like, "Oh, honey! He'll be here so soon!!"

I told the nurse that I was ready to push. I could already feel so much pressure. I was sure he was coming right away. I climbed up into the bed, and just felt I had to lay down and start pushing. The nurse was moving like she had something better to do. Eric and Carol, however, moved in sync to either side of me and were both rubbing my shoulders and encouraging me. Although, Carol looked like she might pass out!

The nurse called to another nurse to find my doctor, and came over to check me. Coe was crowning! After what seemed like ages, Dr. Mahaffey came in with the biggest smile on his face. He made a few jokes (all of which were lost on me!). He told me that, "Oh, yeah!" I was ready to start pushing. He is the funniest man. He just sat back on his little stool with his arms crossed and watched me while I pushed. After only a few pushes, I could feel Roscoe's head coming out. However, Dr. Mahaffey just raised his hand slowly and told me to slow down and stop pushing. The cord was wrapped around Coe's neck twice (I did not know that until afterwards). Once he move the cord, Coe baby just slipped out with one more push! It took a little smack and some encouragement, but soon I heard the most amazing sound, my little boy screaming hello to the world!

I remember Dr. Mahaffey laughing this big laugh and handing this purple, red, perfect human to me. Coe was so himself from the first touch. I brought him right to my chest. Carol was bawling; Eric wiped tears and kept saying, "Hi, Rocky!" The room was just spinning and centered and perfect and insane. Roscoe Everrett was real and in my arms and so magical. He nursed right away, like a little champ. His tiny fingers wrapped around mine; I remember feeling whole. As if, my whole pregnancy I'd known him so well, but had just been missing holding him. My little, perfect Coe baby.

Carol and Eric held and cuddled Coe after they'd cleaned him up a bit. I felt great right away. I didn't have an episiotomy (probably shouldn't have the first time). I had torn in two places, but I was stitched up and helping get Roscoe bathed in no time. Carol left to go home and cuddle Hendrix and Trey came as we got checked into our room. I remember all of us looking at his peach fuzz of hair and all speculating over whether it was red or not?! 

After Trey left, Eric and I were alone and I remember just looking at Roscoe together in awe. The second time felt so different than the first, but so exactly the same. We were so much more calm and less scared. We knew just what to do. I remember staying up and just staring at his perfect face. We couldn't WAIT to have our little family all together. Our little Coe, here at last; the perfect fit. 

Roscoe Everett Seaman

 Born at 9:15 pm 

March 8th, 2012

 7 lbs 7 oz

 19.5 inches

PERFECT. PERFECT. PERFECT.

Here's Hendrix's http://goteamfamily.blogspot.com/p/hendrix-philos-birth.html

My Coe Baby, you're TWO!

Dearest Roscoe,

Right now, you're curled up next to your dad in our bedroom. You fought sleep like a ninja for TWO HOURS. When I thought you were asleep, I snuck out of bed to get some me time. Then, I heard your little whimper of, "Maaaaahm" behind me. You were still awake, kid! You threw your perfect little arms around my neck and nuzzled down back to sleep in no time. Those moments are passing faster. You're starting to push me away from our nightly cuddle sessions to wrap yourself up in blankets and fall asleep by yourself. So, I cherish those moments when you're still lost without me.

March 2013

April 2013

May 2013

See, you're pretty independent, Coe. Since you started moving, you've been on a mission to test all toddler limitations. People never believe what a rager you are, until they've been in our house for 10 minutes. After they've seen you scale the side of the counter to try and turn on the stove, escape through the backdoor to play in water from the faucet and climb the stairs to throw heavy objects at people's heads, they are believers. You are unreal. I can't take my eyes off you for a second, and whenever I do, you always have some terrifying surprise waiting for me. I think I'd be more of a frazzled mom if you didn't look so cute while attempting to destroy the entire house.

June 2013

July 2013

August 2013

Because, you're pretty much the sweetest devil that ever lived. You have such strong love in you. Your hugs are like magic. You run up to me at random times during the day just to pat me on the back and kiss my face. You take care of your big brother whenever he's sad; you agonize over him if he's in any pain at all. It's amazing to watch your love in action. You make strangers smile and everyone around you laugh. And, man. There is nothing as electric as that laugh of yours.  GAH. Just thinking about it makes me want to tickle the mess out of you.

September 2013

October 2013

Roscoe speak is one of the great joys of my day. You have the funniest accent. It's like-- a Boston/ Southern drawl. Things that are hot are "TOO HAWWWT", "Car" is "Cahh," "Wrigley" is "Wig-ah-wee." I really need to record it, because it's downright hilarious. You've started speaking gibberish sentences. I will understand maybe two words in the PARAGRAPH you're reciting. And, your dramatic inflection and gestures just serve to make everything more entertaining.  I'm sure at some point, you'll just figure it all out, and we'll realize you've been reciting Shakespeare sonnets the whole time.

November 2013

December 2013

You are more than mobile, you're AGILE. You can already scoot around on your scooter faster than I can! You are an amazing dancer ("What the Fox Say" is most definitely your jam of choice). You are ridiculously coordinated for a two year old (although, don't tell that to your missing canine tooth). I always joke that I need to get you training for the X-games, but seriously. I need to get you training for the X-games.

January 2013

February 2013 

Roscoe, Coe baby, Roe-Coe-Coe, Coaster Rica, Rocky, Roller Coaster,  My life without you would be boring. You have brought more joy to this little family than you will ever know. You are vibrant, loving, funny and adventurous. I promise to nurture and fight for those qualities always. You will always be my baby boy, and I am so insanely lucky to be your mom ( here's hoping that luck keeps us out of the ER for a long time!).

xoxoxox,

Your Maaaaaaahma