One

My Dear, Sweet Coe Baby,

We've got one whole year under our belts, kiddo.  I don't know how it happened, or why it happened so fast, but here we are.

I remember when I was pregnant, I wondered how on earth I could manage loving another person as much as I love your brother. And then, I met you. I saw your perfect face for the first time, and it was over. You fit into a small part of me that I never knew existed. You, my perfect boy, were always meant to be mine.

I wish I could put into words how strong your tiny spirit is.  I knew you before I laid eyes on you.  You have this curious, unabashed, vibrant human inside of you-- an old soul.  It's amazing to see you interact with people and things. You do everything so carefully and consciously. You operate on some other plane of existence; it's mesmerizing to watch.

 Coe baby, every mama says it, but you are gorgeous. You have blue eyes that hold the world in them. Your hair is more red every day, and I sure hope it sticks. But if it doesn't, I know you'll rock what you've got. Everybody stops me to tell me what a beautiful baby you are. I soak it all in, because, I worked pretty hard on that face of yours. 

You are straight magic, kid. You are in a constant state of exploration. You have always been awed by music. If you hear a song, you stop, cock your little head to the side and take it in, keeping time with your toes. Sometimes I catch you in a room playing with a stream of sunlight. I'm telling you, MAGIC.

Being a mama to an infant is intoxicating. You are the center of someone else's world, and feeling so needed is terrifying and wonderful all at the same time. But, already, you are separating from me, pushing me away so that you can do what you want. It's heartbreaking, honestly. Each day you become less and less a part of me. But, more and more, you're becoming you. The little man I see emerging is truly something.

Too soon, you won't run to me for every scrape and bruise, but I'll always be here waiting in the wings. You're on to great things, my love. You, with your little smirk and sweet laugh. You will forever be my little Coe baby. Right now, you're sleeping sweetly in our room next to your big brother, who is your moon and stars. As I finish this, I'll crawl into bed and wrap you up in my arms. Tonight, you're still my little baby, and I'm the luckiest.