Coe Baby is 3

 

March 2014

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January 2015

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March 2015 

Coe Baby, 

You are three, my love. Three whole years old. Looking through your pictures, each day feels like yesterday. 

This year has been huge for you. You potty trained yourself, you stopped nursing, you gave up your binky, you became a big brother, and you sleep by yourself! You are such a strong, self sufficient kid, and I am so humbled by that because most of your "big milestone steps" you have taken on your own gumption! 

Coe, you are strong. You rarely get hurt to the point of tears. Most falls or stumbles that would have a kid running for comfort, have you trying again with a determined, pursed look on your perfect face. You do not back down to a challenge, that is for sure. You run fast, scale rock walls, go down the tallest slides, and swing with your eyes wide open. You are fearless and brave.

You are also the sweetest soul in perhaps the entire world.  In the mornings, you'll bring me a glass of water, my phone, my glasses and the biggest kiss. If someone gives you a piece of candy or a toy, your first question (before even taking it in your hand) is, "Hey-Hee, too?" You help me with the dishes, find Maggie a toy, give Wrigley kisses. You give of yourself so naturally, and it shocks me sometimes to the point of tears. 

Coe, your sense of order is righteous. The other day in the grocery store, you saw a package of bread on the floor of the aisle, and you made me push the cart over just so you could put it back. I'm trying to keep more order at home, and that has helped you with some terrible two tantrums. You like having things happen around the same times every day. You like things being in their place. The world is a pretty messy place. I'll keep helping you make sense of the mess in a healthy and balanced way. I think you'll be helping me find more order in my life, too. Amazing how that works.

You can command and fill a room, kid. Your smile is infectious. Your laugh is all of the good things in the world, and your hair has made strangers reach out and do the unthinkable-- THEY TOUCH IT. You're effortlessly beautiful.

I could not be more proud to be your mom. There is a lot to navigate in the year of two. Each day, you've been becoming more and more this amazing little man, who knows himself so assuredly that it scares me sometimes. You need less and less of me every day. This year is going to bring so much good for you. I cannot wait to know more of your questions, and thoughts and dreams and likes and dislikes. Coaster, you are my whole heart bursting and breaking into a million pieces. I am so lucky to be your mom. I am so lucky to wake up to your sweet voice in the mornings. I am so lucky to have your hugs and your love. I want a million years of you, my sweet, darling, perfect boy. 

xoxoxo, 

Your "Maaaaaahm"

TWO and ONE and BIRTH

I'm giving up Facebook for Lent, because I have to. Because when I prayed about it, I felt that part of myself rise up with a stubborn, "NOOOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!" And when you feel yourself hold that strongly onto something, it's time for you to be stronger than that.

Today is Ash Wednesday, and I have gone to my computer screen 10 times already just to wake it up. Usually, I wake it up because I am checking my Facebook. For what? I have no idea. So, each time I've done that this morning, I've given it to God. I have said a prayer for someone I know is hurting. I've turned myself around and picked up one of my kids and covered them in a million kisses and let myself well up with grateful recognition of my many blessings.

To some people, this may seem trite and pointless. To me, it is something that is good and right and needed. xo

Psalm 34:14 Turn your back on sin; do something good. Embrace peace - don't let it get away!

I had an old friend message me tonight and compliment my writing tonight. It took me by surprise, and made me feel all the feelings, because I've been pushing myself to find more time to read things other than BuzzFeed and write things other than photo captions this year.

So, my brain was trying to write an official blog post, but nah. Here's a list of random stuff instead!

-I'm reading Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" . Loving it.
-I put away almost all of the Christmas decorations, and somehow my house feels 100% more clean.
- I got fitted for a new nursing bra today, and I am a 32 K? WHAT ON EARTH. It's a real size, too. I'm not making this up.
- I ate a double burger from P. Terry's today, and it was all of the good things happening. Also, a chocolate shake. Don't judge me.
- You might like this as much as I did.
-If you didn't like that, you'll love this.
-Feeling bad about yourself? Roscoe watched AT LEAST 4 hours of other people playing with "Thomas the Tank Engine" videos today. I know. I'm the worst mom. He ate lunch today, though. So, I mean, it's about balance, y'all.




xoxo

Tonight, I held each of my kids as they fell asleep. It's one of the things in my life I most savor and detest. I'm super bi-polar about it. I know one day they will go to sleep on their own, but they don't yet. None of them do. It gets especially tough on days like today, when I could actually hear the glass of wine downstairs calling my name.

My New Years resolution(s) is to stop yelling and to take more time for myself. Tonight, I had my cell phone in hand, the screen dimly lit, and I was scrolling through feminist blog postings, because Lindsey Gates-Markel sent me some links that I was EATING UP. And there's all this sleep research that's like, TURN THE SCREEN OFF, but also, TREAT YO' SELF, y'know? So, I read and kissed their little heads in between loving my reading life, and maybe it took them longer to fall asleep, but I wasn't stressing myself out either. So, there you go. Also, this Pinot Noir is tasting too good.